As a wedding photographer, I’ve been behind the scenes at hundreds of weddings, and here’s one thing I can tell you for certain: the happiest couples on the day are not the ones checking supplier arrival times or fluffing chair covers—they’re the ones soaking up every moment, smiling, relaxed, and fully present.

One of the best ways to make that happen? Delegate properly.

And no, that doesn’t mean shouting, “Can someone do this for me?” on the morning of your wedding. It means strategically involving friends and family—the ones who want to help—with clear, meaningful jobs they’ll actually enjoy.

Let’s talk about how to do this right.

 

Why You Shouldn’t Try to Do It All Yourself

If you’re planning your own wedding—especially on a tight budget—it can be tempting to think you’ll just take care of everything yourself. But here’s the truth: trying to control every detail will leave you burnt out before the cake is even cut.

Weddings are emotionally loaded, time-sensitive events. I’ve seen brides tear up over missing hairpins or grooms panicking over playlist errors, simply because they felt like they had to manage it all.

Real story: At one wedding I photographed, the bride was so busy directing the caterers that she missed her own champagne toast. Her guests were waiting. The prosecco was warm. The moment passed.

You don’t need to be that couple. Let others take things off your plate—just make sure they know exactly what to do.

 

The Golden Rule: Give Clear, Manageable Jobs

When people say, “Let me know if I can help,” they usually mean it—but they don’t always know how. So don’t be vague. Instead:

• Be specific: Say, “Can you be in charge of laying out the table centrepieces at 11am?”

• Play to their strengths: Got a super-organised sister-in-law? Give her a clipboard and the timeline. Got a music-loving friend? They’re your playlist pro.

• Give them time: Let them know a few weeks before the wedding, not the night before.

 

Smart Jobs to Delegate (That Genuinely Make a Difference)

Let’s get into some real-world tasks you can confidently assign—and some tips to make them stress-free for everyone.

1. Group Photo Wrangler

From a photographer’s point of view, this is one of the most important jobs you can delegate.

It’s the person who helps round up family members during group photos. Why? Because they know who Aunt Susan is, and I probably don’t.

Top Tips:

• Choose someone assertive but friendly—ideally someone who knows both sides of the family.

• Give them a shot list beforehand (e.g., “bride + mum + dad,” “groom + siblings”).

• Tell them to stick by the photographer’s side until the formal photos are done.

Time saved? Up to 30 minutes. That’s more time for mingling, sipping cocktails, or stealing a quiet moment together.

 

2. Cake Transporter

Think it’s silly to worry about cake transport? Trust me—it’s not. Cakes are fragile, especially if tiered or topped with fresh flowers.

Top Tips:

• Choose someone reliable with a clean car and a calm temperament.

• Give them a small cake emergency kit: non-slip mat, palette knife, icing sugar, kitchen towel.

• Confirm delivery time with both them and the venue—before the day.

Bonus tip: Let your photographer know when the cake arrives so we can capture it in perfect condition before it’s sliced.

 

3. Playlist Manager (or DIY DJ)

Even if you’ve opted out of hiring a full DJ, someone needs to be on tech duty.

What they’ll need:

• Fully charged phone or laptop with your wedding playlist downloaded (just in case there’s no Wi-Fi).

• Bluetooth speaker or sound system at the venue—fully tested the day before.

• A printed list of key songs for important moments: first dance, entrance, bouquet toss, etc.

Ask a music-savvy friend who won’t be shy about hitting “skip” if your dad’s song choices veer into 80s power ballads too early in the night.

 

4. Drinks Top-Up or Bubbly Coordinator

Whether you’re self-catering or topping up glasses between speeches, someone needs to keep the drinks flowing—at least for the big moments.

Ideas to delegate:

• Pre-ceremony welcome drinks table.

• Pouring prosecco for the toasts.

• Keeping the post-ceremony drinks chilled and accessible.

Provide them with a few buckets, ice, a bar towel, and make sure they’re not also a main speaker or in lots of photos.

 

5. Emergency Kit Keeper

This person is the behind-the-scenes hero you didn’t know you needed.

Create a small bag or box filled with essentials:

• Sewing kit

• Safety pins

• Tissues

• Paracetamol

• Plasters

• Deodorant

• Tampons

• Blotting paper

• Mints

• Phone charger

Then assign someone to carry it (maid of honour, best friend, or sibling). You’ll thank them when someone’s heel breaks or you get lipstick on your dress.

 

What Not to Delegate

Not every task is safe to hand off. Some things are too important—or too personal.

Avoid delegating:

• Writing your vows or ceremony script: These should come from you.

• Supplier coordination involving multiple vendors: If your venue doesn’t provide a coordinator, consider hiring a “day-of” wedding coordinator. You don’t need a full wedding planner—just someone to manage the schedule and answer supplier questions on the day.

• Photography: Your wedding photos are one of the only things you’ll keep for life. Trust a professional. (Yes, I’m biased—but I’ve also seen too many “my uncle has a nice camera” disasters to stay quiet.)

 

Let Go of Perfection—Focus on Love

Perfection is overrated. A wedding isn’t a performance—it’s a celebration. It’s OK if a napkin is missing or the timeline runs 10 minutes late.

What matters is that you’re surrounded by love—and that you’re fully present to enjoy it.

You don’t want to spend your wedding day checking emails or answering supplier questions. You want to be walking hand-in-hand with the person you love, hugging your gran, dancing with your friends, and soaking in every magic moment.

 

Final Thoughts: Let Your People In

So here’s your wedding planning homework:

1. Make a list of 5–8 jobs that need to be done.

2. Match those jobs to your trusted inner circle.

3. Ask early, be clear, and check in the week before.

Delegating isn’t giving up control. It’s freeing yourself to enjoy the day you’ve spent so long planning. Let your people play a part in making your wedding day unforgettable.

Want more behind-the-scenes tips from someone who sees how weddings really unfold? Let’s chat. I’m always happy to share insights—and capture your day in a way that tells your real story.

 

If you’d like to chat with us… Call us at 01842 267537

If you prefer email send us a message here: Send mail!